Hearing today’s gospel reminded me of the last time I read this passage of John. I was in Lectio when I realized just how important it was that Peter went back to fishing after the Crucifixion. This epiphany led to a rather vivid imagining on my part of the entire scene, which I present to you all here.
After they finished eating breakfast, Peter bent down to pick up his nets. It made sense to him to return to fishing; it was the life Peter always knew, after all. As he stood with the nets in his hands, intending to return to the boat, he met the gaze of the Lord Jesus standing before him. “Simon, son of John," He said to Peter, "do you love me more than these?”
He squeezed the nets tightly in his hands and swallowed hard. “Yes, Lord,” he answered, his voice cracking and low. “You know that I love you.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.”
Peter nodded, then turned toward the sea, focusing once again on gathering up his nets.
Jesus placed his pierced hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Simon, Son of John,” He said, turning Peter back around to face Him. Looking earnestly into Peter’s eyes, Jesus asked him again, “Do you love me?”
Peter tightly closed his eyes for a moment and answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He gripped the nets tighter, afraid to let it go, afraid to disappoint his Master once again.
“Tend my sheep.”
He remembered with shame his arrogance in the upper room before Jesus' arrest, promising to follow Jesus anywhere, even to death. Peter stared at the nets in his hands. I'm still that same arrogant fool, he thought. He couldn't catch a fish all night, until the Lord arrived at the seashore. He needed his Master for everything.
Everything.
“Simon, son of John.” Jesus placed his wounded hand on Peter's clenched fists and asked him a third time, “Do you love me?”
Peter’s gaze shifted from the nets to the wound in the back of Jesus' hand. Everything Jesus said, everything He predicted, flashed through Peter's mind, especially that last prediction--that Peter would deny his Master. “Lord, you know everything.” He looked into Jesus’ face as tears quietly fell from his eyes. “You know that I love you.”
"Feed my sheep." Peter saw that Jesus was holding in his other hand some of the bread from which they ate that morning. "Amen," Jesus continued, "Amen I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." It was at this moment that Peter realized exactly what Jesus was asking of him. "Follow me."
He said nothing in reply, but dropped his nets, took the bread from Jesus' hands and followed, even unto death.
He said nothing in reply, but dropped his nets, took the bread from Jesus' hands and followed, even unto death.
